dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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