I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
