Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize