You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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