I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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