He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
