Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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