I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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