Whod you bang
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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