I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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