just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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