I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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