Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
