Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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