I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It was confusing and full of hummus
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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