ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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