living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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