weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
