Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think people are normalizing furries
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
