fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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