Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
