the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
