oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
