aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize