So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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