I skipped work to stalk him.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
