we made out on top of his cat.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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