Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize