Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize