mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
