AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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