You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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