My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
