You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
