he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
