We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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