Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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