I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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