He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
