I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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