literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
