How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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