Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
