I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize