every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
