yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
