I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize