so that wasnt chicken after all
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
