gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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