you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
