pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize