i will never coherently bang her
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
