If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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