I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
