Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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