come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
