If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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