So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
