It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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