A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
