No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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