apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
