I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
