i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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