She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
