I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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