do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
