I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
