I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
