So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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