She is in my trunk
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
